I recently cried at work and now I’m worried that people will think I’m weak or unprofessional. Am I?
JENN, Vancouver CANADA
April 2026
Sarah’s take:
Do you think crying at work makes you weak or unprofessional? Do you think others who cry at work are, too? I don’t think you are either of these things, Jenn, and I would love to see the day when tears around the boardroom table are more acceptable than shouting is. But we’re not there yet, hence your question.
Vulnerable expression is anything that requires some kind of emotional exposure, including tears. Showing vulnerability at work is courageous and uncomfortable and it can come in lots of different forms like: asking a question, saying I disagree, saying I don’t know, or saying I don’t understand. I think the trouble with tears is that they often come without much warning, and while we can choose not to say something, we can’t always choose not to feel something. Not getting much of a choice can make us feel out of control. Feeling out of control, even for a few moments, may not jive with your definition of strength or professionalism. Does that mean you have to change, or that your definition of those two words does?
If your definition of being a strong, professional, workplace human includes having the capacity to be vulnerable, does that make a difference to how you feel about crying at work? Before wondering what others think of you, I say check your own judgements and see what you think of you! If you’re curious about what others think, you can ask them. It could sound like: I don’t think crying at work is unprofessional or weak, but sometimes I worry others do. What do you think?
Sandy’s take:
NO. You're not weak. You're human. And I want to say that as clearly as possible before we go any further.
Tears at work? They're not a character flaw. They're information. Your tears know something.
So instead of asking "what will people think of me?", try asking, "what were those tears actually about?" Were you frustrated because you've been carrying too much for too long and something finally tipped you over? Were you upset because something felt unfair and you didn't feel heard? Were you in a situation where you felt disrespected or unseen? Were you running on fumes and a hard week that finally caught up with you?
Once you know what they're telling you, you'll know what to do next.
As for what other people think? Most of them have either cried at work themselves, or they will. The ones who judge you for it are probably just further behind on their own self-awareness journey. That's a them problem.
