Episode 79: Is She Confident? Or Is She a Jerk?

We’ve talked about imposter syndrome (aka newbie nerves, productive discomfort) and today we are talking about something a little different. While we have noticed that more women in leadership are feeling worthy AND welcome AND confident and not like imposters at all, we still self-edit our words and actions because we worry our confidence will be judged negatively.

So in this episode, we consider the question: why do so many confident and successful women leaders worry that their confidence and success is making them look like jerks at work?

Key Takeaways:

• There is a difference between confidence and arrogance.

• Adaptability is a valuable skill. At the same time, being too adaptable can lead to self-editing, being a chameleon, and a loss of self.

• Be brave! Be confident! And lift others up with you.

*In this episode, we noted the work of leaders Rachel Cargle, Glennon Doyle, Liz Plank, and Tara’s pal Fiona Proctor. Thank you to all of them!

Episode 53: Leggo My Ego!

Oh, ego.

In this episode, we talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly that can result from our egos taking centre stage. Egos can definitely lead to some jerky behaviours at work.

Tech note: We had some challenges with our sound this episode. The levels are off. Distance podcasting is not always easy! Thanks for bearing with us while we try to sort it out for next time!

Key Takeaways:

• Ego pro: Failure isn’t an option. It doesn’t even cross our minds, which means we may take some (smart) risks and have some excellent opportunities and results!

• Ego con: Can lead to hero behaviours. We can fix and solve everything, even when no one asks us to be their hero. Besides rubbing people the wrong way, this can also take away opportunities from other people to be accountable and try new things. 

• Ego and gender: are women judged with more skepticism when they show up with ego? Are men unfairly judged when they show up as confident? Hmmmm, we are a bit split on this one.

Episode 49: Imposter Syndrome, What a Poser!

Due to COVID-19, this is our first remote podcast recording! The show must go on!

Imposter syndrome describes feelings of severe inadequacy and self-doubt that can leave people fearing that they will be exposed as a “fraud”, usually in their work lives. And you know what? Imposter syndrome is a real jerk! In this episode, we share our own experiences with imposter syndrome (we have many!) and discuss how to support not only ourselves when we feel this way, but our colleagues and even bosses, too.

Key Takeaways:

• Imposter syndrome has impacted us all at various times in our lives -- starting a new job/gig, releasing the DBAJAW podcast for the first time, going back to school, writing a book, to name only a few.

• The doubt we feel almost always comes from ourselves! It takes work to push through this discomfort -- it’s okay to be uncomfortable.

• Another jerky behaviour of imposter syndrome is that it rarely self-isolates and it tends to spill over into other parts of our lives, making us feel like we are inadequate in those areas too. Remember to ask your trusted people for support in these times.

Episode 43: Fear is a Jerk

We all have that little voice that tells us we could screw up, get hurt, look stupid, fail. Sometimes it's a whisper, sometimes it's using a megaphone. It's fear, and it's a jerk. In this episode, we talk about how it shows up for us, and what you can do to get it to shut the heck up!

Key Takeaways:

• That fear voice can be very smart and can camouflage itself with logic. Watch out for it trying to "protect" you!

• Fear can supply ALL sorts of reasons to avoid hard conversations. And while that may feel like a relief in the moment, it's not helpful in the end...to ourselves or to the persons we really should be speaking with.

• Why doesn't fear hold more people back from karaoke?? We (two of us, anyway) wish it did. Kidding! (Sort of.)